Yellow Personality Rapport Building Heuristic
Erikson recommends an open, friendly style when interacting with people he describes as Yellow. Personal stories and interest in the other person are central to his rapport-building advice.
THE IDEA
“YOU SEEM INTERESTING. WANNA KNOW WHO I AM?”
By now we’ve established that Yellows like other people. They function best if they surround themselves with a crowd. Of course, Yellows don’t like everyone they meet, but they will give the majority a decent chance.
You need to show a Yellow that you are just as open and friendly as he is. If you’re way too closed and private, he’ll feel unwelcome. Why didn’t you reply when he spoke to you? Why didn’t you smile at the funny story about his dog? Why doesn’t he know anything about you? What are your dreams? Insufficient personal connection can result in a strong sense of insecurity, and your relationship won’t develop in a positive direction. If you’re Red or Blue, you need to think carefully about how to get this to work. If you want to, of course.
Conclusion: Become approachable. Demonstrate that you’re available; smile a lot; be sure to have open body language. When a Yellow wonders where you grew up, don’t just respond with “New York.” Say that you lived in Chelsea, and that you loved jogging along the High Line, and that a pickpocket stole your wallet once while you were walking down Fifth Avenue, and that you met the love of your life when she accidentally dropped a plate of fries on your pants at a restaurant. It may seem a bit unnecessary, but you should definitely show interest in the Yellow as a person. Admittedly, it won’t be difficult to find out things about him, because he’ll freely tell you a great deal. But be sure to show that you are curious and interested.
And remember that Yellows are very susceptible to flattery.
When to use it
Networking events where you meet outgoing individuals who value personal stories.
Sales interactions with customers who respond well to friendliness and sharing.
Team collaboration when working with a colleague who thrives on social interaction.
First dates or social gatherings where you want to quickly establish a positive connection.
FROM THEORY TO EVERYDAY LIFE
In practice
Expanding on a simple answer
When asked where you grew up, share a true detail about the neighborhood or a memorable experience if you are comfortable doing so. Erikson’s long New York example illustrates how a fuller answer can invite conversation.
Using flattery effectively
Compliment a Yellow's outfit, story, or enthusiasm. For example, after they share a funny anecdote about their dog, say 'That’s such a great story! You really know how to make people laugh.' Yellows respond well to genuine praise.
A MOMENT TO REFLECT
Put it to work.
How can you make yourself more approachable and open when interacting with a Yellow personality?
What personal details or stories could you share to deepen the connection with a Yellow?
In what situations might flattery be most effective when building rapport with a Yellow?
Often confused with
CONTINUE THE CONVERSATION
Source texts
- Surrounded By Idiots (Thomas Erikson)