Tell a Green, “Look Here! We Can’t Agree on Absolutely Everything.”
Erikson describes disagreements in work groups and families as a source of stress for people he calls Greens, whom he presents as conflict-averse.
THE IDEA
Tell a Green, “Look Here! We Can’t Agree on Absolutely Everything.”
Disagreements in a work group or in the family inevitably lead to stress. Only troublemakers enjoy conflict. Friction in the most important group, the family, is particularly serious. A Green won’t know what he should do.
The passage describes stress caused by disagreement. It does not establish whether the instruction in the heading helps resolve that stress.
When to use it
When mediating a family dispute involving a sensitive member who avoids conflict.
When leading a diverse team and needing to maintain harmony while making progress.
When dealing with a friend who is uncomfortable with disagreements, to ease tension.
Discussing discomfort with disagreement in a coaching conversation.
FROM THEORY TO EVERYDAY LIFE
In practice
Family Vacation Planning
In a family meeting, a Green is upset about differing opinions on vacation plans. A family member says, 'Look, we can't agree on everything, let's find a compromise.' They then discuss what compromise each person could accept.
Project Disagreement at Work
A Green team member is stressed about a project disagreement. The manager says, 'We don't have to agree on every detail, let's focus on the main goal.' The team member and manager discuss which disagreements must be resolved before work can continue.
A MOMENT TO REFLECT
Put it to work.
How do you typically react when encountering disagreement with a conflict-averse person?
What strategies can you use to reduce stress in a group where members have strongly differing opinions?
In what situations is it important to explicitly state that complete agreement is unnecessary?
CONTINUE THE CONVERSATION
Source texts
- Surrounded By Idiots (Thomas Erikson)