Task-Focused Communication with Blues
Erikson advises keeping discussions factual and focused on work with people he describes as Blues. His example emphasizes respecting privacy and allowing personal conversation to develop at the other person’s pace.
THE IDEA
WE’RE NOT HERE TO HANG OUT AND BE COZY
This is a given if we’re referring to a working relationship. Stick to the job. Make sure to stay focused on the task at hand. A Blue is not at all interested in your personal preferences or what you think about his choice of car, house, sport, or anything else that is not related to work. He’s there to work. Period.
I remember once that after about five or six meetings with a personnel manager in a big company I thought I had gotten to know him. We had passed the stage of shaking hands every time, and by now he knew how I preferred my coffee. At the seventh visit it occurred to me to ask him what he planned to do over the holidays. I don’t know what came over me. At first his look became vacant and then his anxious eyes began to wander all over the room. I ended up saying some nonsense to cover up my mistake. I hadn’t told him what I had done on my holidays, either. About four visits later, he informed me gently that he planned to go to Thailand over the new year with his family.
That was the opening.
Conclusion: Stick to the task. Work with checklists where factual matters are noted—things you can tick off together with the Blue. If you’re Yellow, put a part of your spontaneity aside. For that matter, put away as much spontaneity as you can. Force yourself to do one thing at a time. Remind yourself that a Blue will rarely or never ask how things are going or show interest in your personal problems. Don’t ask how things are going for him on a personal level, either. The word itself would be his answer: “Personal. This is private. Stay off.” In time he will open up if he wants to. It’s not that he doesn’t like you; he just wants to work first. Accept this and it will go well.
When to use it
Meeting with a task-oriented client or boss who dislikes small talk.
Negotiating a contract with someone who wants only facts and numbers.
Collaborating on a project where you need to keep discussions strictly on schedule and deliverables.
Introducing yourself to a new team member who seems reserved and focused solely on work.
FROM THEORY TO EVERYDAY LIFE
In practice
The Holiday Question Mistake
After several meetings with a Blue personnel manager, the author tried to ask about holiday plans. The Blue became uncomfortable, avoiding eye contact and seeming anxious. Only later, after more task-focused meetings, did the Blue voluntarily share his plans to go to Thailand.
Using Checklists with Blues
In a business meeting, when dealing with a Blue, use a factual checklist that you both can tick off. This keeps the interaction on task and respects the Blue’s preference for concrete, work-related matters.
A MOMENT TO REFLECT
Put it to work.
Think of a Blue colleague or manager. How can you adjust your communication to respect their need for task focus?
When you introduced a personal topic recently, how did the other person respond? What did that tell you about their preferences?
What specific checklists or agendas could you prepare before your next meeting with a Blue to keep the conversation productive?
CONTINUE THE CONVERSATION
Source texts
- Surrounded By Idiots (Thomas Erikson)