Randomness and Personal Elegance
Taleb presents a Stoic ideal of meeting misfortune with dignity and courtesy. His emphasis is on choosing how to behave when luck turns against us, rather than treating favorable outcomes as the measure of a life.
THE IDEA
Randomness and Personal Elegance
Ideas do not always sink in when emotions come into play; we do not reliably use classroom reasoning under pressure. Self-help books (even when they are not written by charlatans) are largely ineffectual. Good, enlightened (and “friendly”) advice and eloquent sermons do not register for more than a few moments when they go against our wiring. The interesting thing about stoicism is that it plays on dignity and personal aesthetics, which are part of our genes. Start stressing personal elegance at your next misfortune. Exhibit sapere vivere (“know how to live”) in all circumstances.
Dress at your best on your execution day (shave carefully); try to leave a good impression on the death squad by standing erect and proud. Try not to play victim when diagnosed with cancer (hide it from others and only share the information with the doctor—it will avert the platitudes and nobody will treat you like a victim worthy of their pity; in addition, the dignified attitude will make both defeat and victory feel equally heroic). Be extremely courteous to your assistant when you lose money (instead of taking it out on him as many of the traders whom I scorn routinely do). Try not to blame others for your fate, even if they deserve blame. Never exhibit any self-pity, even if your significant other bolts with the handsome ski instructor or the younger aspiring model. Do not complain. If you suffer from a benign version of the “attitude problem,” like one of my childhood friends, do not start playing nice guy if your business dries up (he sent a heroic e-mail to his colleagues informing them “less business, but same attitude”). The only article Lady Fortuna has no control over is your behavior. Good luck.
When to use it
When facing a major career setback or financial loss, choose to remain courteous and composed rather than venting frustration on others.
After a serious diagnosis, decide whom to tell and what support you want while preserving the privacy that matters to you.
During a relationship breakup, resist the urge to complain publicly or assign blame, instead focusing on maintaining your own integrity.
In a business environment when things go wrong, project the same attitude as in success ('less business, same attitude') to reinforce reliability and stoic strength.
FROM THEORY TO EVERYDAY LIFE
In practice
Facing Execution with Dignity
Taleb’s extreme image is a condemned person who dresses carefully and stands upright before the death squad. He uses it to portray dignity when the outcome is beyond one’s control.
Cancer Diagnosis Without Victimhood
Taleb proposes keeping a cancer diagnosis private to avoid pity and platitudes. This is his provocative illustration of personal dignity, rather than a necessary condition for responding with dignity.
Financial Loss with Courtesy
Be extremely courteous to your assistant when you lose money, instead of taking out frustration on them as many traders do.
No Complaints After a Breakup
Taleb urges someone whose partner leaves to avoid self-pity and public complaint. It illustrates his demanding ideal of composure after a painful loss.
Business Downturn with Consistent Attitude
When business dries up, maintain your usual attitude (e.g., sending a heroic e-mail: 'less business, but same attitude') instead of suddenly playing nice.
A MOMENT TO REFLECT
Put it to work.
In a current adversity, how can I act with personal elegance and dignity instead of succumbing to self-pity?
What would a Stoic sage do in my situation right now to demonstrate that my behavior is the only thing under my control?
How can I reframe a recent misfortune as an opportunity to exhibit graceful composure and set a heroic example?
Often confused with
CONTINUE THE CONVERSATION
Source texts
- Fooled by Randomness The Hidden Role of Chance in the Markets and in Life (Nassim Nicholas Taleb)