Missing a Train Is Painless
Taleb uses refusing to run for a train as an image of choosing one’s own standards. His stoic advice is to reconsider which goals and external expectations deserve pursuit.
THE IDEA
WHEN MISSING A TRAIN IS PAINLESS
I once received another piece of life-changing advice, which, unlike the advice I got from a friend in Chapter 3, I find applicable, wise, and empirically valid. My classmate in Paris, the novelist-to-be Jean-Olivier Tedesco, pronounced, as he prevented me from running to catch a subway, “I don’t run for trains.”
Snub your destiny. I have taught myself to resist running to keep on schedule. This may seem a very small piece of advice, but it registered. In refusing to run to catch trains, I have felt the true value of elegance and aesthetics in behavior, a sense of being in control of my time, my schedule, and my life. Missing a train is only painful if you run after it! Likewise, not matching the idea of success others expect from you is only painful if that’s what you are seeking.
You stand above the rat race and the pecking order, not outside of it, if you do so by choice.
Quitting a high-paying position, if it is your decision, will seem a better payoff than the utility of the money involved (this may seem crazy, but I’ve tried it and it works). This is the first step toward the stoic’s throwing a four-letter word at fate. You have far more control over your life if you decide on your criterion by yourself.
Mother Nature has given us some defense mechanisms: as in Aesop’s fable, one of these is our ability to consider that the grapes we cannot (or did not) reach are sour. But an aggressively stoic prior disdain and rejection of the grapes is even more rewarding. Be aggressive; be the one to resign, if you have the guts.
It is more difficult to be a loser in a game you set up yourself.
In Black Swan terms, this means that you are exposed to the improbable only if you let it control you. You always control what you do; so make this your end.
When to use it
When deciding whether to conform to social expectations or carve your own path
In professional settings, considering resignation or rejection of a promotion on your own terms
During negotiations or competitive environments, choosing not to engage in rat-race behavior
When facing an unavoidable delay or failure, distinguish what happened from the response you can still choose.
FROM THEORY TO EVERYDAY LIFE
In practice
Missing a Train
Taleb describes choosing not to chase a train as a way to resist letting a schedule dictate his state of mind. It is an illustration of autonomy, rather than a claim that missing a train has no practical cost.
Quitting a High-Paying Job
Leaving a lucrative position by your own decision feels empowering, turning potential regret into a sense of autonomy.
A MOMENT TO REFLECT
Put it to work.
What 'trains' do you run for in your daily life, and how might you choose not to run?
In what areas of your life are you seeking validation from others, and could you instead define success on your own terms?
How can you apply stoic disdain to a current situation where you feel a lack of control?
Often confused with
CONTINUE THE CONVERSATION
Source texts
- The Black Swan The Impact of the Highly Improbable With a new section On Robustness and Fragility (Nassim Nicholas Taleb)