Learn to Tell Whether a Yellow Is Actually Listening
Erikson portrays Yellows as eager to talk and prone to missing details. He recommends preparing a clear request, asking for a concrete commitment, and following up on important agreements.
THE IDEA
Learn to Tell Whether a Yellow Is Actually Listening
I’m just going to say it like it is—Yellows are, beyond the shadow of a doubt, the worst listeners. Usually, they will never admit it. The very expression itself—“awful listeners”—is something negative, and they’ll do anything to avoid negativity. Many Yellows really see themselves as good listeners. Who knows where they got that idea? It’s simply not true. Of course, there are Yellows who listen—when it suits them. Or when they’ve already gotten what they wanted out of a conversation. But in most cases, forget about it.
They don’t want to listen. They want to talk. Yellows simply think that they can express everything far better than anyone else. The problem is that they neglect to listen to what anyone else is saying.
Conclusion: When you’re dealing with Yellows, there are certain things you need to do. It doesn’t matter if you’re speaking to your partner about your summer vacation or to a colleague about an ongoing project, you need a plan of action. You need to have prepared yourself carefully. You have to know what your message is and exactly what response you need from them. You must persuade the Yellow, happy person to answer your questions very concretely and hear him say, “Yes, I will be there at four just as I promised,” or, “Of course I’ll notify the customer exactly what we have agreed to.”
But—big but—be prepared to follow up if it’s important, because the Yellow didn’t write down any of it. Unless you managed to persuade him to write it on his calendar, of course. That would be the best way. But in all other contexts, you should expect that what you’ve said has gone in one ear and out the other.
When to use it
Giving task instructions to a Yellow team member who is enthusiastic but distractible.
Discussing joint financial plans with a Yellow partner who avoids negative topics.
Conducting a performance review with a Yellow employee who loves talking but resists feedback.
FROM THEORY TO EVERYDAY LIFE
In practice
Getting a commitment from a Yellow colleague
Ask a talkative colleague for a specific commitment, such as notifying the customer by tomorrow. Agree on how and when to check progress, rather than assuming a verbal yes ensures completion.
Planning summer vacation with a Yellow partner
When discussing vacation plans, have a clear agenda and ask for concrete responses such as, 'So you agree to book the hotel by Friday?'
A MOMENT TO REFLECT
Put it to work.
How can you check whether a talkative colleague understood the key details of your request?
What follow-up strategies have worked for you when dealing with someone who tends to forget promises?
In what ways might a Yellow’s self-perception as a good listener affect your approach to communication?
CONTINUE THE CONVERSATION
Source texts
- Surrounded By Idiots (Thomas Erikson)