Identity and Beliefs
Beliefs become part of your identity when you feel embattled or proud, turning disagreements into personal attacks and fueling passionate, defensive reactions.
THE IDEA
WHAT IT MEANS FOR SOMETHING TO BE PART OF YOUR IDENTITY
It’s an age-old rule of etiquette that you’re not supposed to make conversation about politics or religion. That’s because we all know that people’s political and religious views are often part of their identities. When someone criticizes a belief that’s part of your identity, it’s antagonizing. It’s like someone insulting your family or stomping on your country’s flag. Even just discovering that someone disagrees with you about an identity-laden belief is like finding out they’re on a rival team: “Oh, so you’re one of them.”
But politics and religion are merely the most well-known examples. Your decision to breastfeed or bottle-feed, your choice of programming language, and your attitude toward capitalism can all be part of your identity. They may not come with official labels like “Democrat” or “Southern Baptist,” but they can spark the same passionate, combative, and defensive reactions all the same.
Agreeing with a belief isn’t the same thing as identifying with it. Many people are pro-science in the sense that they would agree with the statement “Science is the best way of learning how the world works, and it deserves a lot of funding and respect.” But only a fraction of those people have science as part of their identity, to the point of feeling hostile toward people who don’t appreciate science, or wearing T-shirts emblazoned with popular pro-science slogans such as “Science doesn’t care about your beliefs” or “Science: It works, bitches.”
Anything can become part of our identity. Yet some issues seem more susceptible than others. Why is that? Why are debates over the health risks of baby formula so much more heated than debates over the health risks of air pollution? Why are there many options if you want to buy a “Proud Introvert” T-shirt, but not a single “Proud Extrovert” T-shirt to be found?
The science on identity is still evolving, but I’ve observed two things that turn a belief into an identity: Feeling embattled, and feeling proud.
When to use it
Understanding why political or religious debates become heated and how to de-escalate by not attacking identity.
Product marketing: recognize which choices are identity-based (e.g., breastfeeding vs. bottle-feeding) and craft messages that respect that identity.
Team dynamics: when a colleague reacts defensively to a criticism of a work practice, realize that the practice may be part of their professional identity.
Conflict resolution: separate identity from belief to focus on the issue rather than the person.
FROM THEORY TO EVERYDAY LIFE
In practice
Pro-science identity
Many people agree with the statement that science is the best way to learn about the world, but only a subset of them identify strongly with science. Those who identify with science may feel hostility toward non-believers and even wear T-shirts with slogans like 'Science doesn’t care about your beliefs.'
Baby formula vs. air pollution
Debates over the health risks of baby formula are often more heated than debates over air pollution, because feeding choices are more closely tied to identity. Parents who bottle-feed may feel embattled due to social stigma, making the belief part of their identity.
Proud Introvert T-shirts
Galef contrasts the availability of proud-introvert T-shirts with her observation that she could not find proud-extrovert versions. She uses the contrast to suggest that feeling embattled can turn a personality trait into an identity.
A MOMENT TO REFLECT
Put it to work.
Think of a belief you hold strongly. Does it feel like part of your identity? What would happen if someone criticized it?
Identify an issue where you disagree with someone but it doesn’t feel personal. What makes that issue different from ones where disagreement feels like an attack?
Consider a belief you once held as part of your identity but later changed. What factors made that change possible?
CONTINUE THE CONVERSATION
Source texts
- The Scout Mindset (Julia Galef)