Handshakes and Hand Gestures as Heuristics
Erikson interprets handshake firmness and hand gestures as clues to confidence, nervousness, or defensiveness. These impressions depend on context; a handshake does not establish personality, and a theatrical denial does not establish deception.
THE IDEA
Hands
Erikson offers a conversational reading of hand gestures: when greeting a person, how hard do you really have to shake his hand? A simple handshake can reveal a lot about a person. Limp and feeble handshakes often indicate a submissive behavior, so if you have such a handshake it might be a good idea to press a little harder. If a handshake is firm it probably suggests that a person is determined. Anyone who squeezes way too hard belongs more than likely to the former category but would prefer to belong to the latter. Clenched fists rarely mean good news, usually indicating aggressiveness. Certain nervous people pick at their clothes, removing hairs or threads. This often indicates they would rather focus their attention on other things. Holding your hands clasped behind your back often expresses power and security.
He also describes a person putting a palm on the chest—preferably the right hand over the heart—and sighing indignantly when accused of lying. “Would I lie? How can you say that about me?” Erikson reads the gesture as an excessive display of honesty that can make observers suspicious. That is an interpretation of the display, not evidence that the denial is false.
When to use it
Job interviews: notice an initial impression from a greeting, then assess the candidate using evidence relevant to the role.
Negotiations: notice changes in gestures and ask questions about the concerns behind them.
Social interactions: Use handshake cues to adjust your own behavior for a more positive impression.
Disputed accounts: separate your reaction to someone’s manner from the evidence for their claim.
FROM THEORY TO EVERYDAY LIFE
In practice
Limp vs Firm Handshake
An observer may read a limp handshake as submissive and a firm one as determined. A painful grip, disability, cultural convention, or simple habit could affect the same interaction, so the impression needs context.
Hand on Chest While Denying a Lie
A person accused of lying places a hand over their heart and says 'Would I lie?' An observer may find the display theatrical, but the gesture alone cannot resolve whether the person is telling the truth.
A MOMENT TO REFLECT
Put it to work.
What impression did a recent handshake give you, and what other explanations could account for it?
Have you ever observed someone using an exaggerated hand-on-chest gesture when denying something? How did it make you feel about their honesty?
When you feel nervous, do you notice yourself picking at your clothes or fidgeting? What might that communicate to others?
CONTINUE THE CONVERSATION
Source texts
- Surrounded By Idiots (Thomas Erikson)