Get in Touch With Your Emotions
When you feel a negative emotion, examine the thoughts and interpretations connected with it. Considering another perspective may help you decide how to respond.
THE IDEA
Get in Touch With Your Emotions
When you feel angry, sad, or frustrated, ask what happened and how you interpreted it. What thoughts contributed to the feeling? What other explanations fit the situation?
For example, an apparent slight may have been a misunderstanding. Reconsidering that interpretation could change your response. The emotion may also point to a real concern that needs action. The aim is to understand the connection between your interpretation and your feelings, rather than assume that a positive outlook will solve the problem.
When to use it
When feeling angry, anxious, or sad, pause and analyze the underlying thoughts.
During interpersonal conflicts, use this to see the other person's perspective and reduce hostility.
When making an emotional decision, pause to consider alternative interpretations of the situation.
In self-reflection or journaling, regularly practice identifying thought-emotion links.
FROM THEORY TO EVERYDAY LIFE
In practice
Anger at a coworker
You feel angry after a disagreement with a coworker. Instead of stewing, ask yourself: 'What thoughts led to this anger?' You realize you assumed they deliberately undermined you. Then consider alternative views: perhaps they were under pressure or misunderstood your intent. This reframing reduces anger and opens dialogue.
Sadness after a setback
You feel sad after failing an exam. Ask: 'What thinking caused this?' You might be thinking 'I'm not smart enough.' Then consider other perspectives: 'This exam was tough for many,' or 'I can learn from my mistakes.' This helps shift from despair to constructive action.
A MOMENT TO REFLECT
Put it to work.
Think of a recent negative emotion. What happened, and which thoughts seemed connected with your reaction?
In a situation where you feel stuck in a negative mood, what are three alternative ways to view the event?
How can deliberately finding humor in a frustrating situation change your emotional response?
CONTINUE THE CONVERSATION
Source texts
- Thinking in Systems and Mental Models Think Like a Super Thinker (Dawson, Marcus P)