Empathy gap
The empathy gap is a cognitive bias where individuals in one emotional or physiological state struggle to understand or predict the feelings, thoughts, or behaviors of people in a different state.
THE IDEA
Empathy gap exists when people in one state of mind do not understand people in another state of mind. If you’re happy, you can’t understand why people are sad. When you’re not sexually aroused, you cannot explain how you respond when you are sexually aroused.
When to use it
Negotiations: understanding how the other party's emotional state affects their decisions, even if you aren't feeling the same.
Marketing: designing messages that appeal to consumers in different emotional states.
Personal relationships: avoiding assumptions about a partner's feelings based on your own current mood.
Medical decisions: doctors predicting patient compliance with treatment when patients are in pain versus when they are not.
FROM THEORY TO EVERYDAY LIFE
In practice
Happiness vs Sadness
If you’re happy, you can’t understand why people are sad.
Sexual Arousal
When you’re not sexually aroused, you cannot explain how you respond when you are sexually aroused.
A MOMENT TO REFLECT
Put it to work.
Think of a time when you couldn't understand why someone was upset because you were in a good mood. How might the empathy gap have influenced your response?
How can being aware of the empathy gap help you make better decisions in relationships?
Reflect on a situation where you made a promise while in a calm state but later, in a stressed state, you failed to keep it. How does the empathy gap explain this?
CONTINUE THE CONVERSATION
Source texts
- 60 Cognitive Biases That Ruin Everything We Do by David Scott