Don't Gift Wrap Things

Don’t Gift Wrap Things

Let me be very clear here—when you’re conveying criticism to a Red, the simplest way to do so is to avoid any form of decorative wrapping. It’s enough of a challenge to even get through to Reds with your criticism, because a Red always believes that he is right and you are wrong.

Many years ago, I discussed Red behavior with a group of sellers, most of who were Yellow. They understood quite quickly what Red behavior was, and the Reddest person who came to mind at that time was their boss, the sales director. They described him as boorish, a bad listener, completely insensitive, manipulative, unrelenting, often in a foul mood, too much in a hurry, plus a whole bunch of other less flattering descriptors. The group was seriously concerned because they suspected that he hated his staff. Sure, he also worked very hard, and they respected him for that. But since he sometimes asked for ideas and then proceeded to lambast anything that didn’t suit his own agenda, they never got anywhere. Besides that, he controlled everything they did, in detail, which was probably the reason he worked so hard. The whole situation sounded disturbing, and the sales team would soon fall apart if nothing was done.

I called the sales director in and explained what the group had said. He listened with increasing interest but without showing any great concern. But his reaction was interesting. Once I had explained to him that his twenty sales reps—the most important resource he had to reach his personal goals—thought that he was an insensitive and aggressive son of a bitch, he replied, “This is just a handful of anecdotes. It’s not about me. It’s their incompetence that’s the problem. If they just worked harder and did a better job, I wouldn’t have to push them so hard.”

When I explained that his impatience was stressing the group and made the sales reps insecure in their work, he replied that it wasn’t his fault. Impatience wasn’t a weakness—it was a strength, for Pete’s sake! If he were to drag his feet the same way everyone else was doing in this company, nothing would get done. If they just bothered to increase their pace a little bit, then he could calm down and not be so aggressive. But the problem wasn’t really him—it was them.