Admitting Others Were Right
The ability to tell others they were right and you were wrong is a strong sign of scout mindset, prioritizing truth over ego. Abraham Lincoln's letter to General Grant after the Vicksburg victory exemplifies this trait.
THE IDEA
Do you tell other people when you realize they were right?
In the American Civil War, the city of Vicksburg was of the utmost importance. It was strategically situated on the Mississippi River, which meant that whoever controlled it could control the movement of troops and supplies up and down the country. As Confederate president Jefferson Davis put it, “Vicksburg is the nailhead that holds the South’s two halves together.”9
The Union general Ulysses S. Grant, had tried unsuccessfully to capture Vicksburg for months. Finally, in May 1863, he settled on a daring plan to approach the city from an unexpected direction, while using subterfuge to hide his troops’ progress from the Confederates. President Abraham Lincoln was worried—the plan struck him as far too risky. But two months later, on Independence Day, Grant’s army stood victorious in the center of Vicksburg.
Lincoln had never met Grant in person, but decided to write him a letter after hearing of the victory. “My dear General,” it began. After expressing his gratitude, Lincoln continued:
I wish to say a word further. . . . I thought you should go down the river and join General Banks; and when you turned northward, east of the Big Black, I thought it was a mistake. I now wish to make the personal acknowledgment that you were right and I was wrong.10
The letter was “perfectly in character” for Lincoln, a colleague of his commented later upon reading it. The president never had any difficulty telling other people their judgment was superior.11
Technically, scout mindset only requires you to be able to acknowledge to yourself that you were wrong, not to other people. Still, a willingness to say “I was wrong” to someone else is a strong sign of a person who prizes the truth over their own ego. Can you think of cases in which you’ve done the same?
When to use it
In a workplace meeting, admitting a colleague's suggestion was better than your own to build trust and collaboration.
In a personal relationship, acknowledging your partner was right about a decision to foster mutual respect.
As a leader, publicly recognizing a team member's correct insight to model intellectual honesty and encourage open dialogue.
In a decision-making group, explicitly stating when you have been convinced by someone else's argument to improve group accuracy.
FROM THEORY TO EVERYDAY LIFE
In practice
Lincoln's Letter to Grant
After the Union victory at Vicksburg, President Lincoln wrote to General Grant acknowledging his earlier opposition to the plan and admitting Grant was right. This action demonstrated Lincoln's scout mindset and willingness to prioritize truth over ego.
A MOMENT TO REFLECT
Put it to work.
Can you think of cases in which you have told someone else they were right after initially disagreeing?
When was the last time you admitted a mistake to another person? What held you back?
How might your relationships improve if you openly acknowledged when others are correct?
Often confused with
CONTINUE THE CONVERSATION
Source texts
- The Scout Mindset (Julia Galef)